Description

In a world of groundbreaking experiments and cutting-edge discoveries, one group of scientists is on the verge of something truly monumental: the ultimate fan. Fiddling in ways that are… well… not entirely scientific. Their methods are unorthodox, but the results are blowing the industry away.

Capable of moving six-hundred bushels of air every dog-year, the buzz it’s generating is almost deafening. It will even like all of your Instagram posts. The low effort ones too! Once they work out the parasocial obsession bug (that incident with the blade was way overblown), it’ll be ready to ship. Keeping you cool while reminding you that you’re cool, the ultimate fan is finally here.

Wear this and preorder yours today!